In her preface to “Reflecting on Domestic Violence,” Author Lauren Makarov, a survivor of abuse herself, explains that “Domestic violence affects us all. It does not matter whether or not one is directly linked to its devastating nature. When domestic violence occurs, a ripple effect is produced. The victim is the first to be affected, then friends and/or family members, and then employers and the greater community as a whole.”

Makarov has written a handbook for domestic violence survivors to work through their feelings after the abuse. Each chapter tackles a different emotion: shock, isolation, denial, anxiety, confusion, fear, guilt, anger, acceptance and healing. Makarov shares her own poems and her own experiences to help other survivors heal.

“Reflecting on Domestic Violence” is invaluable reading for anyone who is a survivor of abuse or wants to know more about domestic violence. It can also be used to facilitate support groups. In the appendices, Makarov provides references and resources for those who went to learn more about this important subject.



What inspired you to write this book?

I was a counselor for victims and survivors of abuse for several years after having been a victim myself. Women I counseled were in unison on how the emotional effects can hurt worse and be longer lasting. During my experience in an abusive relationship, I wrote a myriad of poems, which were cathartic for me. They helped shed light on what I was feeling. They allowed me to see ‘something was wrong’ when I was being told nothing was wrong and it was all in my head. I used some of the poetry while facilitating support groups. I found they helped others by engaging them to open up through writing therapy. Writing is a passion of mine, as well as helping others. I knew I wanted my first book to be aimed in that direction. I want to continue helping victims become survivors.

What type of research was involved?

Most of the research was through my counseling. Another part came from my own experience in an abusive relationship. I knew I had enough background to write the book; but I also wanted to bring more facts and descriptions of emotions through other credited works. I read through several books on different emotions and used them as reference. They assisted in bringing more influence to the points I was wanting to make.

How would you describe your writing process?

I had several outlines created from the books I’d read during my research. I dedicated a portion of time each night after work to write the chapters exploring each emotion using the notes I had. I sorted through the poems I had written during my own victimization, identifying which chapter I would insert each one.

The writing of the book flowed once I found a rhythm and connected to it.

What do you hope readers get out of the book?

A common phrase I heard during my counsel of others was “I feel like I’m going crazy,” which is very normal in these types of relationships. My hope is to help others understand why they have those feelings of ‘going crazy’ and assist them in identifying with those emotions. I hope my book will offer a sense of acknowledgement, empowerment and healing in order to regain their self-esteem. Self-esteem is important in finding one’s voice. And when that occurs, hopefully they can break their silence.

Who is your favorite author?

There are many authors I enjoy and far too many to pick a favorite. I enjoy reading several genres and appreciate differing writing styles. In relation to my book’s topic, however, I will say I had read an amazing and powerful book by Connie May Fowler, “When Katie Wakes.” I had seen her speak at a memorial breakfast held annually by Hubbard House when I counseled there. Her book seemed to be my affirmation as I was just beginning the formulation of my own.


Book title: ‘Reflecting on Domestic Violence: Understanding the Emotional Aftermath’

Author: Lauren Makarov

Format: Paperback — 192 pages (includes Appendixes and References)

Genre: Self Help/Inspirational

Reflecting on Domestic Violence Book Cover from author Lauren Makarov. A Pictured is a battered woman looking at her wedding ring